oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
