A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
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Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
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I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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