hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
