My hand turned me down
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
