dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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