Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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