Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
this will be a night to untag.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
