He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
