Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
