none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
