I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
