Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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