how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
