Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?