Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
tonight lets celebrate not being married
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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