Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
