I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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