i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
