I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
