I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
