I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
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you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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