my sisters under your porch take her home
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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