Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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