i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's no shave November. This is our time.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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