This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
