operation harelip BJ is a go
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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