woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
