i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize