I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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