I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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