I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
