You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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