just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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