I am in a vortex of obligation.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
