yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
