we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Randomize
