This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
No stitches, just platelets and will power
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
