He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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