I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
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something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
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Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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