bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
