Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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