Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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