That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
it hurts more in the daytime
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
