I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
