Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
