it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize