i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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