walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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