Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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