it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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