hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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