also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
