Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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