Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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