I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
