I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize