Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
