i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
