Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
try to milk me bitch
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
