Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
My dick has a subreddit
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
