I seem to have left my pride at pride
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day