I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
