So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.