he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
