Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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