I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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