At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
